Just Love..You can't Lose

I have learned that love is not centered solely around one person. Its not just one feeling..
Love is a mother believing in her child and pouring so much into her after being let down one to many times.
Love is a father giving his baby the freedom to fly knowing she will crash and hurt herself multiple times before getting it right. Knowing when its the right moment to give guidance or let them learn the hard way.
Love is looking into the eyes of your little sister and knowing you can not shelter her from all the things that will hurt her. Because just like you she will have to learn for herself. As much as you wish you could take all the pain for her all you can do is hold her and let her feel it all because that's what is molding her into the strong beautiful women she will be one day.
Love is the way a friend can lay her hand on your open wounds no matter how disgusting they might be. The way they desire to understand your mess of thoughts you don't even understand yourself.
Maybe that's what love is...Understanding. I really think people overlook how intimate the act of being understood is. Its not easy to find either. People you can trust don't grow on trees but I've been blessed with several. I am so in love with every color of their soul and the darkest corners of their hearts. Yes I really mean I'm in love. When I tell my friends I love them I hope they know I don't use those words lightly. I really mean it. I love their loud goofy laughs and their moody grunts in the morning when its too early to talk. I love the good times we share but I will sure as hell be there for the bad times too.I love their quirky habits, the unique things that set them a part from others and even the parts they have trouble loving themselves. I fall in love with flaws and imperfections because I know the bravery it takes to be vulnerable enough to expose your scars. Maybe that's when you know you love someone when you don't feel like you have to run when things get dirtier than you expected. When you are able to look at the most revolting parts of yourself with someone else and they don't flinch. Its freeing, beautiful and absolutely terrifying!
I have always been afraid of losing people and its hard for me to put myself out there but I have realized in order to love someone you don't have to pin them down and hold on forever. People will come and go and you can let them take pieces of your heart with them. That doesn't mean you are broken. I think our hearts were made big enough to share a little piece with everyone we come in contact with. Once you realize that you begin to find love in everything..I fall in love with laughter, the light in people eyes and the passion in their voices. I fall in love with sunsets, thunderstorms, music, and the way it makes me feel. I fall in love with moments that have passed but can be repeatedly revisited in my mind. When you find love in every aspect of your life it becomes an exciting adventure. Don't be so afraid of losing people. Some people are only meant to be a small part of the story. It's ok to let your guard down, share smiles, laughs and memories with people just passing through and then turn the page and start another chapter..

Daily Reminders

Reading through one of my old notebooks from school and found these notes I wrote myself. Its kind of funny but I still find all these life tips helpful today. So here is some advise from my younger self  I thought was bloggable lol

Stop Overthinking Everything 
By overthinking you create problems that weren't there in the first place. STOP! Get out of your head, get some fresh air, and try talking to actual humans. The voices in your head aren't helping you.

Stop Complaining 
It's easy to focus on the things that aren't going your way but you really have so much to be grateful for. Always do your best to focus on the good and less on the bad. There is always a reason to smile! Keep your head up Buttercup!

 Stop Holding onto the Past
Things are going to happen that are completely out of your control and moving on can be really hard but you cant start a new chapter if you keep rereading the previous chapter. Learn what you can from the hard times and remember they are making you stronger.

 Stop Doubting Yourself 
In order to succeed you have to believe you will succeed. You are capable of anything and everything you put your mind to!

Stop Criticizing yourself  
Everyone Messes up. You cant take back your mistakes and you cant hide them. Accept that it happened and learn from it. Regretting and hating yourself for it is giving it control over you. Remember "You are more than the sum of your past mistakes" and there is so much worth loving in 

you. (yeah I quoted Tenth Avenue North)

Stop Holding Grudges
No matter how hurt you might feel always try to forgive. Sometimes its the hardest thing in the world and you probably think they don't deserve your forgiveness but if you cant do it for them DO IT FOR YOU! Holding grudges makes you bitter and steals your happiness. Don't give others control over you like that.

 Stop Worrying so Much 
 "Hakuna Matata!" Worrying just leads to anxiety and nobody has time for that! Stop worrying about the future and try to think about the things that are exciting about the future..  

Be Yourself
Its ok to be different. Stop trying to blend in. The right people will always love you no matter what and more importantly you should love your true self enough to show it off. Never be afraid to show your true colors!

Don't Be Envious or Jealous 
Stop comparing yourself to others. There is only one you and you have so much to be thankful for everyday. Find peace and be happy with what you have. There are plenty of people that probably wish they had the things you have.

Stop Being Afraid
No don't stop being afraid...fear is a good indication that your about to do something big or a little uncomfortable. Its ok to be fearful as long as you overcome it. Get out of your comfort zone, take some risks, and keep trying new things especially if they scare you.

 Take Responsibility for your Actions 
You can try and run from your problems or blame them on other people or things but they are always going to come back. Stop hiding from them. Look at them and deal with them!

 Laugh at Yourself
Don't take life so seriously. If you do something stupid, Laugh it off! Just laugh a lot..Laughing is great!

 You Can't Make Everyone Happy 
Don't constantly chose others happiness over yours. Yes make people happy but if you have to set aside your own dreams, goals, morals, and happiness to do it...DON'T 
Always make sure when you say yes to someone else you are not saying no to yourself.

Don't Place your Happiness in the Hands of Others
Learn to be happy alone. Your happiness should never depend on someone else or something else.

Take every Opportunity you Get
Stop thinking you're not ready! Take advantage of opportunities as they come. Dont be afraid to put yourself out there. You don't have to have it all together. Nobody is perfect and people will love you for your realness. No one else has a story like you. Don't be ashamed of it! Everything that's happening is making you and that will inspire others.

Warning! Super Sappy Lovey Dovey Post About My Best Friend

You always hear stuff like "You have to love yourself before anyone else can" and I don't believe that's true. Self love is definitely very important and I agree you shouldn't chase love to make up for the lack of love you have for yourself. but the idea that you are not worthy to be loved until you learn how to love yourself I think is completely false. Everyone deserves to be loved. I think sometimes we need other people that love us to teach us how to love ourselves. Watching someone love you when your not very lovable can be exactly what you need. Susie was my person. When I couldn't find a reason to love myself she told me the reasons she loved me.

Its funny how when you love someone. You start to love the things they love. I hate cats but if she liked cats I could learn to appreciate them. and I guess that's how I learned to appreciate me. I never understood why she didn't just give up on me because I can be very difficult. She is the most patient and selfless person I know and I don't think she will every fully understand how the little things she did made such a huge difference. Our goofy little love notes, spontaneous adventures, long talks, long sitting in silences that were sometimes needed and of course all the laughter. Every time I distanced myself and tried to push her out she somehow made her way back in. Even When I refused to talk about the things that were bothering me having her sitting beside me was all the comfort I needed.

We all go through hard times and if your lucky enough to have a friend that will love you through them despite all your imperfections you have friend that's worth the world! I am so grateful for mine..

.

Small Talk

For Someone who hates small talk I sure do make a lot of small talk! It's not always easy to start a conversation about things that are actually important in life so I end up having the same conversations over and over again. I love hanging out with people that I can have real talk with. I don't want to know "whats up?" I want to know about you, the things that make you unique, your flaws, your fears, your funny little quirks. I want to stay up and listen to your raw uncensored thoughts about the things you love, the things you hate or the things you don't quite understand. Tell me about your childhood. I want to hear about your most embarrassing moments, the happy memories you have and the pain that shaped you into the person you are today. I don't want to talk about the weather or listen to the same old complaints about work or school. I would much rather hear what you're learning, your goals, your struggles and what helps you get through them. Those are the things I'm interested in.

I do think there is a place for small talk and I don't think every conversation has to be this deep emotional vomit but it seems we get so use to small talk we don't even know how to have real talk anymore. I just crave a deeper connection with people then "whats up?"

My Fitness Journey

Fitness is more to me then going to the gym a couple times a week and making through my workout so I can go home and watch a movie. It's not about trying to look hot in a bikini or trying to look better than someone else. I started working out when I was at a very low place in my life. Honestly I just didn't really like myself. I treated myself badly and didn't require other people to treat me any different because I didn't know my own self worth. I hate to remember that girl sometimes. I wish I would have taken better care of myself and I wish I wouldn't have let people treat me like they did but I had to get to that low place in order to realize I needed to make some changes in my life. When I started going to the gym I wasn't really concerned about Health. I just wanted to look better and needed a hobby that kept me out of trouble. Even though I was just trying to improve my body I started realizing improvements in my health, my mood, how I viewed myself, and how I viewed life. The gym has become something I look forward to everyday and fitness has become more than just a hobby its a lifestyle. I love the challenge, I love crushing goals, and I want to be the best version of myself possible. I am not the same person I was two years ago. My goal is to be healthy, strong, confident and most of all happy. Everyday is another chance to be better than I was yesterday. I have a long way to go before I am where I want to be but I have literally fallen in love with fitness. I've learned that I am capable of whatever I put my mind to. I have learned to love myself and take care of myself. Its a process, I still struggle everyday but I'm learning everyday and I hope to be able to share my love for fitness with others.

I like people who are happy and make other people happy simply by being present. I like people that make me laugh so hard I cant breathe, I like long conversations under the stars about love, about life, about all the millions of things I am not able to wrap my mind around. I like to watch peoples eyes light up when they talk about something they love. I love people that are so passionate about what they love that they can't stand to not talk about. I'm so drawn to these kind of people and it really doesn't matter to me if its a common interest we have or if we share completely different beliefs. It's a beautiful thing to be able to connect with people with passion and not make judgements because our passions are different. We weren't put on this earth to be the same or to try to make people more like us. Find your own purpose, do your own thing and respect everyone...It's really simple.

Homesick

"I am homesick for a place I'm not sure exists" I have a burning desire to get out of this town and experience the world. I want to climb mountains, stand under waterfalls, see cities I've never seen, and connect with unique and open minded people. I want to learn everything I can about every culture and fall in love with every sight. I want to taste the freedom of going wherever the wind takes me and not worrying about tomorrow. I don't ever want to fit into someones picture of how I'm suppose to live my life. I'm going to live a life full of mistakes that turned into good lessons, risks that turn into best stories and happiness that's so contagious you cant be around me without catching it. I have a craving for something more and I don't even fully understand it but I will find it.

At the end of my life I would rather have a a passport full of stamps and life full of unforgettable moments than I nice car and nice house full of expensive things.